Ignite The Desire

#33 Actually Living The Dream You Desire with Jerome Meyers

February 15, 2022 Episode 33
Ignite The Desire
#33 Actually Living The Dream You Desire with Jerome Meyers
Show Notes Transcript

Why I believe in dreams and living a fulfilled life

Not too long ago, this was not my reality.  I actually believed that living my life was dependent on someone or something else.   I did not even believe in my dreams but was actually afraid of them.

But as you will hear in this episode dreams really do come true and you actually shape how they do by improving yourself.

I believe in this because I had several dreams of being married, having children, working in the IT profession, and many more.  I can honestly say today they are coming true and the bigger I dream the more I live a fulfilled life.

Today I love embracing my dreams
and on this episode, we had the pleasure of speaking with Jerome Myers He is the founder and Chief Inspiration Officer of DreamCatchers and The Myers Development Group.  Jerome is the leading authority of dream realization, a believer that dreams can and should be real. Jerome left corporate America when he realized that his role offers financial gain, but little significance.

In this episode,  We'll get really deep into what it takes to build the life you desire.  You are having those dreams for a reason....to live a fulfilled life.

Here's a glance at this episode...

  • [4:00]  How you can follow your dreams and define success as you believe it to be
  • [8:07] Understanding how you feel about your career and desires and what you can do about it
  • [13:48]  What is the one thing you need to do when taking on new adventurers in your life
  • [21:14]  What are the 6 steps of intentional learning

Click here to listen!

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Jerome Myers

Cynthia 00:02
Hey, and welcome to this week's episode of ignited desire. And I am your host again, Cynthia. And today's episode, we're going to be talking with Jerome Myers about dreams, and they can and should be real. And I'm sure you all know by now this show is about catching and making those dreams become a reality. Jerome is the leading authority of dream realization, a believer that dreams can and should be real. Jerome left corporate America when he realized that his role offers financial gain, but little significance. He is the founder and head coach of Meyers method and has been featured in Black Enterprise, Business Insider, and numerous podcasts after building a highly profitable division of a fortune 500 company, Jerome decided to leave the rat race to get away from what seemed to be the in the slew of layoffs. Jerome and his firm can guide any individual from a mundane. Yes, uninspiring existence. Oh, that was a lot to a life of fulfillment and impact. Thank you much for joining us today. Jerome.

Jerome 01:20
Grateful to be with you. Thanks for having me.

Cynthia 01:24
We are going to dive into those building blocks of building a successful life and on this podcast in this business that I'm driving, for Ignite the desire, we believe that the dreams give you that successful life. But before we get started, can you tell us something interesting about yourself that most people don't know?

Jerome 01:50
I feel like when I get asked questions like this, I should try to be the most interesting person in the room. But you know, something that's wild, most of our vacationing is done in the Caribbean. And we like to go into wild caves. And for people who have been to caves in the US, there's usually a walkway and a path and you can walk on, you're not walking through water. But when we're in the Caribbean, like Costa Rica, or Antigua or a Roomba, wherever we end up, when we go on these caves, they're often flooded. You see, one of them had a tarantula standing at the entrance. It's just some of the wildest stuff you ever see. And it’s a cool rush. But the reason that I enjoy the cave so much is because it forces you to go in, right? It forces you to explore what most of us tend to avoid. And that person is out there. They know I'm talking to them; they turn the TV on or the radio on as soon as they walk in the room. They avoid silence. And I think there's a special place there. Hopefully we can unpack that a little bit as we go through this episode.

Cynthia 03:02
Sounds very interesting. Are these caves like people do go in them? They're not like uncharted caves. They're just not like the standard, like we are normally seen on this side.

Jerome 03:18
There's usually there's always a guy because I don't want to get lost in a cave. Right? But yeah, it's not what would be considered safe here in the US. There's a bit of a rush when you do that type of stuff.

Cynthia 03:31
Wow. Interesting. That is interesting. I love your name dream catchers. I love that name. I am all about catching those dreams and inspiring you to believe that that dream that you have can and will become your reality. How did you start that business dream catches and how did you come up with that name? I? By the way? I'll say it again. I love it.

Jerome 04:00 
There's a fad in America of chasing dreams, right? There is no authority, there is no tape person taking the position and planting the flag that we should complete things we should finish them. It's all about the effort and attempting. What people end up on is this treadmill where they're continuously trying to do something new. They don't ever reach the finish line; they never achieve or accomplish the goal. And we start thinking about things in that matter. You get exhausted because there is no end. When we started looking at it, what we realized was the success was really based on people who finished the things that they set out to accomplish. And for anybody out there who's thinking, well, accomplishments don't really matter. I challenged that right because they'll say oh well it's just the progress. Yes, but If you don't actually finish what you set out to finish, did you really do it? And you can talk about goals, you can talk about any several other things. But at the end of the day, if I tell Cynthia, hey, I'm going to go do this thing, and I don't complete it, but I say, oh, yeah, I got kind of there. I broke that promise to myself and her. And that's when you start to deconstruct your self-image and start to question whether you deserve the things you have. And try to put a bow on this point, we want to feel worthy of the things before we get them often, we want to feel like we earn them. Because when we're in that space, we can hold our head high. And say nobody gave this to me, I did it through my effort, and then whatever support I had along the way,

Cynthia 05:55
Interesting and I like how you started with chasing the dreams when you said that it immediately made me think of the American dream, and how people get sold on that American dream. Because if you look at the American Dream carefully, you will never be able to obtain the American dream. It's always it to me, before I was trying, I was chasing that American dream. I thought that, you know, if I get married, if I have my two kids, girl, and boy, if I get my job, if I get my dream job, I get the career, I get the money I get the more money you see how it keeps going, you add things into now you get the more money, now you're adding things into your life that requires you to be able to sustain it with the more money. Now you need more money, the kids get older, you know, you take your vacation, the dream never stops. By the time the dream comes to an end, you're literally exhausted. Because you like you said you allowed someone else to define your success. Until you're able to define your success in daily activities, because sometimes I'll say to my husband, like, maybe we'll set out to go to, you know, the Meet place like which is We live very close to DC, which is like to DC to buy some things and then to come back and cook, maybe do some things. And then at the end of the day, I'll say we had a successful day, because we had set out to do X, Y, Z, and we did it right. That's a success. That's something we can take and say we were able to accomplish this. And a lot of times people want to be able to say I have the master's degree, I have the bachelor's I work at the fortune 500, I make the six figures, the success that you're obtaining never ends. And by the time you realize what you're doing, you're literally exhausted from trying to achieve this American Dream.

Jerome 08:07
Yeah, and being exhausted is okay when you're really excited about what you're doing. But let's be honest, most people don't get excited about working for 40 years so that they can be retired for 10. And then they don't really have the energy to do the things that they really hoped to do when they were working. It's just over and repeatedly. And to be honest, I caught the American dream. I'm married my high school or my college sweetheart. I had the six-figure income when I was in my 20s. I had a 6000 square foot house, I had an exotic car, I had this big title in the P&L. And I met with my supervisor once every two weeks, and I saw him once a quarter and you know, I had to tell the dog by the tell, right? And then what happened was I got told that I needed to lay off half my team. And I didn't have a little team, we started out with two people and nine months, we grew to 175. And by December, I was laying folks off, and I was like, I don't ever want to do this. Again. This doesn't make sense. And then I had to do it again. The next year. I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. And you know, I was blaming other people. I was saying, oh, well, you know, that is they're making me do this. Right? I would never do this. But I did do it. And I did it because somebody else told me to do it. Even though it was my choice. Right? And that was the defining moment for me. When I realized I needed to exit the matrix, right? I needed to move to a different place where I have more autonomy. It wasn't just in concept that I was the guy. But in fact, I was a person the buck stops with me and so I made that transition and Did it go well, absolutely not because I didn't know what I was doing. But eventually We were able to get the plane off the runway. And now I think we're able to help people who touch 10s, hundreds 1000s 10s of 1000s. And sometimes even millions of people, that when they accomplish their mission, they inspire other people to do the same.

Cynthia 10:16 
Wow. That's wonderful. I think that will lead us into our next question. How did you get started in your real estate business?

Jerome 10:27
That's a funny story. Me, my buddy Duran was sitting on the stoop sophomore year of college. And I was doing math. I said, well, I'm paying $395. I have two roommates paying $395. You're doing that downstairs? Then he said, oh, and he multiplied it out across the complex. He's like, man, it's $70,000 a year. We've never seen this guy talk to him. How do we do that? We're college students, we thought $70,000 A year would be the jam level and not have to be somewhere at a specific time to do it. We didn't know anybody though; we didn't have access to a person who had a multi-million-dollar real estate portfolio. I'm just a son of a soldier and stay at home mom, right? They weren't coming to our barbecue. I went and followed the corporate dream or the American dream. Then when I got to the in the road, I said, let me go get that dream off the shelf, right? Because I'm accomplished. Now back to all the degrees of certification you're talking about, right? I got an MBA. I'm a licensed engineer, I could go down the list of the things. In fact, I did when I went into the bank for the first time. And what they told me was, yeah, you're not qualified. It's like, what do you mean, I've got everything you're looking for? He said, Yeah, we're not looking for any of that. We want to know if you bought a property of similar size and executed this business plan before. And I reached in my pockets, and I pulled out lint, because I had nothing for them. I have absolutely nothing for them. I was like, No, of course not. I mean, this is my first project. And it's back to the age Oh, how do you get experienced without a job? How do you get a job without experience? Zack, same scenario. I was like, Alright, you guys just don't know who I am. Let me go somewhere else. And I went somewhere else nine more times. And they all told me the same thing. I realized that maybe I was a crazy one in the situation. I pivoted and did what everybody else does I fixed and flip houses, because that's what HGTV tells you that you should do because you're not going to buy a single-family rental and be able to replace a six-figure income. We did that. And while I was sitting on the stoop of one of the houses, it was built in 1920. And we did everything. I mean, it was a $90,000 rehab job. A guy pulls up in his white Dodge Ram, he hops out, he says, hey, but I'm getting ready to do a house down the street. Let me check out your finishes and make sure that we'll be comparable to what's coming to market. He's walking through, he's like, oh, you took the wall out. And you put the gooseneck sinking your island. Look at this granite. It's beautiful. It goes upstairs, looks in the bathroom sees a tile. He's like, okay, okay, okay, I see what you're doing here. Come back downstairs, get ready to walk out the front door. He stops in the threshold. He says, hey, do you know anything about that building behind the jumbo Mart? I said this 23-unit apartment building. He said, yeah. I said, absolutely. I tried to buy that four or five months ago. His response was, well, I'm getting ready to make an offer on that. I said, You're the guy I've been looking for the banks told me I needed an experienced partner. You're not going to make offer on a deal if you don't have apartments already. Right? He said, Yeah, we own a little something that's like, don't leave me out of the deal. Like you're the guy I've been looking for. He's like, what are you bringing to the table?

Jerome 13:48
I don't know. We'll figure that out. Just don't leave me out the deal. No, seriously, man, what are you bringing to the table? Dude do not leave me out of the deal. I've been looking for you since I was in college. Right? I just didn't know anybody that own apartments, like I need to be a part of the deal. He looked away and then looked at me one more time. He said, what are you bringing to the table? I said, Man, we'll figure it out. Just don't leave me out. This is on a Wednesday. and he shakes his head and just kind of rolls his eyes. He turns around, he walks out, walks down the stairs through the grass, hops in his truck and drives off. I'm like, okay, so he's going to make the offer today. He'll call me tomorrow meeting will be set up. We're getting ready to do this till Thursday comes and goes nothing. Friday comes and goes nothing. Tuesday, the next week, still nothing and I'm sitting on the stoop. And I looked down and I realized I didn't even give him my phone number. I couldn't call him because I didn't have his. Did I really miss out on this?  I'm still crossing my fingers. Maybe he'll drive by. Maybe he'll just pull up and let me know. The next weekend happens. I'm like, I don't know if this guy's going to call me. I think I probably just blew my big opportunity. Now in the back of my mind. I had no idea that I didn't articulate my value to him. Why would he want to do a deal with me? Right. And that is, the whole point of me telling this story is that people need to be able to tell others what they can do if they're looking for partners or looking for somebody to bring them into something, when you're starting a business, I wasn't asking the guy to do me a favor, I was asking him to be my business partner. It was upon me to impress upon him the fact that I could bring value because I had skills that he wasn't aware of.  We get to Tuesday of the next week, and still no call, then a buddy that I used to lend money to when I was in corporate America, who was a rehabber, and the general contractor said, hey, man, I got the opportunity to be general contractor. on that project you were talking about back in January, I told them that I was only interested in doing the deal. If you were involved. I was like, oh, man, what do we have to do?  When is the next meeting, he's like, it's tomorrow morning at nine, give me the address, I'll be there?  The three of us marched off to do this deal. Then we added in the broker and property manager. The five of us bought this first, our first deal, and I had the good fortune of being an asset manager. What that means is, I was kind of the operational guy for the deal. What happened on the backside of that, because we bought from a big commercial real estate brokerage house, is they do a press release anytime something trades. When that happened, because I was asset manager, I got the interview. And my name ended up in the paper. Because my name was in the paper, those lenders who weren't interested in lending to me, called and said, hey, what else do you have in the pipeline? What are you going to do with this deal?  Once you finish your construction plan, data die, and we were able to form relationships, and that was in Richmond, Virginia, we took those relationships and came down in Greensboro, North Carolina, and built a reasonably sized portfolio and started teaching other people how to do the same thing.

 Cynthia 16:58 
You from Virginia?  I'm in Virginia. Very interesting story. Why do you think real estate baffled people? Because it seems like a lot of people want to do real estate. A lot of people want to buy houses, want to rehab one to buy apartment buildings, but they never do. I think it's because one will find the information overwhelming. But in your experience, why do you think people are hesitant to step into this real estate market, which has proved to be one of the most profitable streams of income you could have?

Jerome 17:55
I think the first is just exposure, right? Most people only buy a single-family home if they do that. When they do that, that's the biggest asset that they ever purchase. Although their home is an asset, it's a liability because it doesn't put money in their pocket.  If we just go down that path, people just don't have exposure to it and how to do it profitably. The next thing is most people would say, I'll get a realtor they'll find me a deal. No, they won't. That's not the way that it works, right. If they don't have a proven system to help them evaluate opportunities, and then pick ones where they actually have an opportunity to make a profit, then they're doomed to buying something that's not going to make them money or sitting on the sidelines. This education, exposure to opportunities, I think, is the greatest deterrent for most people. It's kind of a secret society. You see the shows, and they condense months into 30 minutes, and they show that everybody makes money all the time. But the fact of the matter is, a lot of people who do real estate, only do one deal, because they don't make money, because they felt like they could go and operate a business with no education. And I'd like to compare it to being a plumber, if you're going to be a plumber, you got to go get a license. You can't just go say, hey, I'm Cynthia the plumber, and then start rendering services at people's homes. And if you did, you'd be in bad shape when something leaks. Well, plumbing business, I mean, they do jobs for you know, $100 $400, maybe $1,500. And they need a license, and they have an apprentice program and so on, so on and so on. But we think we're going to go spend $100,000 A few $100,000 a few million dollars on a piece of real estate with no education. It just doesn't compute then when people see the fees for the training programs, they get hesitant about making that investment. But they're investing in something that in concept should make them money. Whereas for I think your audience, they went to university pay 10s of 1000s of dollars, some people pay hundreds of 1000s of dollars for those degrees. And the promise on the backside of that is they get the work for 40 years. And then, but when either 401k or hope that Social Security is still around when they get out, I opt out to the other thing, because I think there's a bigger promise on the backside.

Cynthia 20:39
I like how you starting about the learning how we need to learn, anything that we want to accomplish is leading into the next question, which is, why is personal development important? In anything real estate and growing your career, and growing your business and growing your family? It's just all around you. If you know, if you want to see it or not, it's there. In your opinion, why is that aspect important?

Jerome 21:14
I think intentional development is the greatest way to get a competitive advantage. If you just kind of wander around and do things, those are the type of results you'll get. But if you're intentional, and you allocate their most valuable resource you have, whether you want to actually talk about it or not time is your most valuable resource, not your money, you allocate your time in a way, where you know that every day that you wake up, you're one day closer not having breath, you'll begin to see that you need to find ways to compress timeframes in order to accomplish the things that you're here to do, and to be able to enjoy the free time that you have. And, you know, for anybody who's played sports, they know that they perform at a higher level when there is a coach and high competition, versus just being there playing on the playground or doing a pickup game somewhere in the neighborhood.

Cynthia 22:16
That is great. I believe the same that once you make that intention to the joy of life, in whichever way you're desiring for it to go, then personal development must be a characteristic and has to be a part that you are constantly developing yourself.  Because it becomes a point in time where you can't pretend like you know, when we're in elementary school, in high school and even college you have people and systems in place that is propelling you to do it.  Do you know, if you don't come to grade school, you know, you get in trouble, your parents get in trouble. You're compelled but becomes a point in time where no one is compelling you to do this anymore. You must begin to compel yourself to fulfill the things that you want. There's no way you're going to do it. Like you said, If I become a plumber, there's no way I can show up and say, Okay, today, I'm going to unclog your sink and start, you know, taking things apart. Then I get it apart. I'm like, how do I put it back together?  No, I wouldn't go very far in the plumbing business. Like you're saying, or we're discussing with real estate, it's the same thing. You know, a lot of times people just want to jump in, you hear it's lucrative. You just want the money.  I don't want to go through whatever it takes to get to the money, I just want the money, I want to buy the house and sell the house and be rich.

Jerome 23:48
We live in a microwave society. And again, we don't value the achievement. If it takes time, there. There isn't a whole lot of excitement about the oven or the crock pot, right? There isn't any excitement about having to read the recipe before you start cooking. People don't want to pull the directions out the box when they're putting things together. They just want it to be together. And that's not how wealth is created. I it just doesn't get handed to you unless it's given to you by relative.

Cynthia 24:24
That's interesting. Then that leads us into the next topic, which is transformational coaching. I did see on your website where you offer that which is great. A lot of people are probably thinking I don't want to transform. What is this transformational coach coaching?

Jerome 24:44
If you don't want to transform, that's amazing. I'm glad you're living the life of your wildest dreams. Right? I believe in me do half and that is this doesn't matter what framework you live in. If you read a book that has Religion tied to it, that concept, isn't it? And the whole point is you must be big, and that you must believe or be the person inside your mind. And then you must do the activities, so you can have the thing. If you are not doing that, then you are living below your capacity. If you're living below your capacity, then you really must question whether or not you deserve the air you breathe. And some people will say, Oh, man, that's harsh. But think about it, right? If you are here, and all the people that you know, are not, do you really believe that you've earned the right to be here? While they're not? Do you feel like you're maximizing the gift of life that you have? If not, then you have the opportunity, or I'll call it the choice, as we talked about my choice to not fire people anymore, you have the choice to make an adjustment to that. 

Our framework for dreamcatchers is really based on this thing we call the red pill, it's our model for center life. It's having six levels, it starts with self-image, because I believe everything happens with you in the center of it starts with you, it comes from within, and then it radiates out. Self-image then the second level is relationships. Once you are keeping promises to yourself, you're accountable in your own mind, it allows you to be accountable in your other relationships, and we really look for or we really categorize relationships in three ways. One, is it mutually beneficial, Two, is it not mutually beneficial, but can be restructured so that it is and three, is it just a non-mutually beneficial relationship? If it's not mutually beneficial, we encourage people to end the relationship. If it's something that can be reframed, we put in the boundaries and restructure the relationship so that it's healthy. If people only come to you to take things away, or you go to people only to take things away, then the relationship is not healthy, you are a parasite, or they are a parasite. And there isn't a place where that is this where people are in harmony the body forms and tries to reject stuff like that, if you think about viruses and bacteria. 

The next level is work, right? And work is after the relationships and self-image.  Because once you are relating with people, well, you're able to influence and lead them. And when you do that in the workplace, you tend to get more responsibility and with more responsibility comes more compensation. We want to maximize opportunity that you have those three things self-image, relationship, and work is where all the stress in your world comes from. I've said that about 200 times. And I still haven't had anybody argue with me yet. I welcome all your listeners if they think I'm wrong to tell me of something that doesn't fit in one of those categories that creates stress. Why is that important? It's important because we start with that nucleus, and we help you reduce your stress. And why do we need to reduce the stress room? Well, if you need to take the edge off at the end of the day, then you're probably doing something that's a self-destructive habit. And it's negatively impacting your health, which is level four. I want you to stop tearing yourself or beating yourself up, I want you to be able to be in kind of this homeostasis, where you don't need uppers or downers to live your life. And from there, we can add in meditation and exercise and focus on your diet, do affirmations and journaling and all the things that help you get to that Apex performer condition that we look for. That you can run the fastest and hardest ratio you can you've ever thought about running. From health we move to prosperity. Prosperity comes after health because I know that everybody sees somebody who has prosperity doesn't have their health, and they give all their time, money, and talents to figuring out how to get their health back. I don't really get excited about sending people backwards. I want them to fix their health, then work on the prosperity. And once you have prosperity, there is abundance.   Out of that abundance, there's opportunity for you to give from the overflow. The last level, and this is where people transcend. The first five are self-actualization. The sixth one is transcendence. It's called significance.

I believe that the only true success is being significant. This allow gives you opportunity to be immortal because you have a positive impact on other people. That impact spills over to other people and this ripple effect, you never know how far or why that thing will go. You have abundance because you listen to the steward or stewardess and you put your mask on first and created abundance in your life, and you gave from that overflow instead of being begrudging about sharing. You're able to give people without question. Discern about where or how it's going to come back to you. That model allows people to finish their self-actualization wherever they are, and then transcend so that they can become immortal. For me, that is the epitome of what life is about.

Cynthia 30:16
That is a transformation. I believe that everyone should be going through a transformation. I don't believe anyone was designed to stay where they are year after year, I used to always get baffled when I went into different organizations, and I would see people working the same job for 20 years. I'm thinking how in the world can you come in day after day doing the same thing that just that one has always just baffled me. I truly believe in transforming yourself.  A lot of times people will try to transform others. But if you transform yourself, everyone else around you will begin to transform as well. It's not by you doing anything, it's by you, creating this new design through yourself and holding that standard that must be met. You don't get to know, what you give is what you get. If I have the standard that I'm looking to be met, it will be met, if I don't and then the opposite is just as true. If I don't have a standard, then I get anything. I love your coaching approach. I love the different steps that you take your client through as they grow to this level of ascend. Thank you. What is your number one takeaway you really want to leave the audience with?

Jerome 32:06
You alluded to it earlier. I'll just double down on it and reemphasize it right? Your dream should be real. And if you haven't heard that before, you are now accountable to that, because it is a statement of fact, I'm not suggesting a hypothesis to you, I'm telling you that that is a reality. It's a fact. And you want that to be true. Or you know that is true is either or, I don't know anybody who doesn't want them their dreams to be a reality. What are you going to do, right, you can listen to Cynthia, you can listen to this conversation and decide, yes, not for me? But now that you heard that it is for you, I'm talking to you specifically, the one who doesn't feel like they're where they are, they haven't earned it, or they don't deserve it. It is for you, you must believe that is possible, and then get the appropriate support to go down that path. What I found, through all the folks that we've worked with, or talked about working with and that we didn't was, there had to be this belief that it was possible before they could achieve or accomplish it.  Then once they had that, we could pour the gasoline on the fire and just have that thing go. Know this shows called Ignite The Desire, right. But once people have something just a little flicker of hope or belief that it can happen, you put yourself in the right environment. And that thing can grow to an inferno. Once you start having some traction, and once you start getting a little bit of momentum, there's nothing that can stop you. It's like the train, right? You can keep a train from moving when it's still with like a stick. But if that thing is barreling down the track at 100 miles an hour, a bus can't stop it, a tree can't stop, it's just going to go through it because there's so much there. That's what I want for you. Right? I want you to live the life of your wildest dreams. And if there's anything we can ever do to help you, even if it's just to inspire you to take the first step, excited to embark on that journey with you.

Cynthia 34:22
That's beautiful I hope that everyone can hear that your dreams are valid and you're having them because that's truly the life you want to live, and your dreams are special to you. Your dream is not what I'm dreaming of or Jerome is dreaming or your neighbor or your husband your dream is special to you. And you only you can fulfill it and I pray, and I hope that you are taking those steps and living the dream life you desire.